Marriage is an institution you will never graduate from, because you
learn new things everyday. Sometimes in our wish to have a 'dream
marriage', we go into marriage with high hopes, set unrealistic goals
and expectations for our partners, when they do not meet our demands,
there bound to be problems. Mostly, we think that a partner is at
fault, we don't see our own fault.
For a happy union, the following tips are necessary:
1. Don't Set Unrealistic Goals for Your Spouse.
Have it in mind that human beings are imperfect and do not think your
partner will meet up with all your expectations in the marriage. In
fact, when it comes to marriage, love is the foundation and it covers
everything. Although it's not enough for marriage, friendship and trust
must be part of it so that the union will stand the test of time. When
you have this at the back of your mind, by the time you notice some
flaws from your partner, you will not be so much disappointed because
you already know that such things must surely come up. This keeps the
marriage going.
2. Always Think of What Your Contribution will be in that Marriage.
If you really love your spouse you will only think of contributing to
his or her progress in life; how he is going to be a better person and
how to make your marriage a mini heaven instead of what you will gain
from the marriage. Personal sacrifice is what keeps a marriage strong.
3. See Disagreements as Strengthening Strategies:
Let me tell you something, couples fight almost everyday. At least in
a week, they must have one or two things to disagree on. It is
natural. Conflicts between couples are not negative by nature. It is
just the fundamental experience of differences between husband and wife.
Because couples experience conflict doesn't mean they don't love each
other.
Dealing with differences in opinions, interests, and
desires and so on is normal in every relationship. The bottom-line is
that couples must handle these differences maturely. So, couples must
work hand in hand to deal with their differences instead of working away
from each other. If conflicts are handled maturely, it will strengthen
a marriage. So, ask yourself this question: "Am I ready to strengthen
my marriage?
4. Establish Good Communication Network.
There is no way marriage can be successful without good communication.
It is the life wire of every union. Communication is 95 per cent in
every successful marriage. For this reason, couples must really work
hard at good communication in their relationship.
For healthy
communication, never discuss anything of importance when you are angry,
upset or feeling tensed. Only discuss with your spouse when you are in a
relaxed mood. There must be room to talk together, don't be too busy
not to talk to your spouse. Husband, if you don't hear your wife, she
will go outside to purge her mind, so you must let her talk to you.
Carry your wife along in anything you do and do not discharge her
suggestions without regard. Make her feel important.
5. Don't Kill Your Partner With Too Many Demands.
Don't make him or her carry one hundred percent of expenses at home.
Share your money with your spouse because you are now one. Spouses must
discuss financial situations together. Don't let your partner feel he
or she doesn't have a grip. Talk together of your income, how much can
you help me with? Once a man feels he is the only one shouldering
financial responsibilities, it will lead to resentment.
Sharing is
a team work. If there is resentment, remember the reason you are
married to the person, Ephesians 5:2: "Live a life filled with love for
others, after the example of Christ, who loved you and gave himself as a
sacrifice to take away our sins. And God was pleased because that
sacrifice was like a sweet perfume to him".
6. Humble Yourselves Before Each Other.
Work with your partner in wisdom so that your prayer will be answered.
If you take care of your partner, you have taken care of yourself.
Give your woman audience and hear her out. When you stay in isolation,
you will do odd things.
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